My Magic Nation

Closing Down

2010-04-04T09:36:00.000-07:00

I'm closing down this blog. There are a lot of reasons.

This started as a recovery-themed blog and I have just not had a whole lot to say about recovery. I'm still sober, I got my 2 year coin on March 8. I know that's not a long time but for me its a lot.

I think it was necessary to focus mainly on my recovery for awhile, but I'm going underground as an alcoholic now. Its a part of me, but so is my kids, painting, politics, school, and a whole host of other things that I have not blogged about too much.

I will be popping in on you all every now and then and commenting but just not in this blog with this theme...

I love all of you for all your prayers and concern.

xoxoxo

Blatant Advertisement

2010-04-01T13:01:00.000-07:00

Another friend of mine recently started blogging, and her blog is really interesting. She's a Michigan transplant to NYC, raised her son here, then started a new life!

Check out Kate at A Michigander Grows in Brooklyn

Also, I've found that, while recovery is still a part of my life, its not all of it, and that's prolly why I have not had much to say lately. So I will be starting a new blog, not recovery based (but not ignoring it either).

I will keep you all posted...

xoxoxo

Theme Music

2010-01-09T11:23:00.000-08:00

What makes real life different from the movies?

Theme music. I want my own theme music for my life, I think that would be really cool. Take this past Wednesday, for instance.

Wednesday was my birthday. My daughter, FC (18) came over and brought pizza for me and my other daughter DQ (12). They were playing Guitar Hero for awhile and getting along for a change. So my theme music was Happy Theme. My babies were with me, all was right in the world.

So I grab the guitar to try to play the stupid thing, heck I'll try anything, once. My DQ goes to the basement with friend to play foozeball and listen to music that I won't let her listen to, and I start to fiddle with the thingie to put it in practice mode and at the "slowest" setting cuz I can't play the stupid thing.

Now, if I had Theme Music I might have been prepared for what was to come next because the music would be getting creepier and creepier with the chords off key, like some weird Tim Burton movie, and then ... LIGHTENING CRASHES and ORGANS start playing, dark, mysterious....

...and you my bloggity peeps, jump in your seats in the darkened movie theater...

And then my FC says the words no mother wants to hear....

I'm not listening, I'm not listening, cover your ears!

Mom, I have something important to talk to you about....

Eyes half-covered, Nooooooooo! Turn back! Turn back! I can't watch! Get out of there!!!

I'm going to have a baby...

AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!

I can't bring [boyfriend] over to meet you because he's under house arrest on a tether....

Whaaaaa????

... for felony possession of drugs, 3rd offense...

Am I on Candid Camera?

... and has 2 MIPs (minor-in-possession of alcohol) and a DUI (pronounced doooo-eeee), so he doesn't drive....

Can someone please call an ambulance, I think all my blood just drained out my toes and I'm going into shock...

.... but its OK, we see each other all the time, he's a cook at Denny's where I work...

Well, that's a plus...

... his parents want him to get a DNA test, they think I'm trying to trap him...

I totally understand that, he sounds like a real catch, gonna have to keep an eye on him, I bet Megan Fox is banging on his door begging for another chance...

... I'm so scared and confused mom, I don't know what to do...

I know baby. I love you.

I'm gonna be a grandma.

Happy birthday to me.

The End.

The Boom Bands are Playing

2010-01-03T10:38:00.000-08:00

2000 - 2010: I was in The Waiting Place. Actually, for longer than 10 years, I thought I was moving forward, I meant to move, in my mind I moved, but in reality I was in what Dr. Seuss called...

The Waiting Place

....for people just waiting.

Waiting for a train to go or a bus to come,
or a plane to go or the mail to come,

or the rain to go or the phone to ring,
or the snow to snow

or waiting around for a Yes or a No

or waiting for their hair to grow.

... Waiting for the fish to bite
or waiting for wind to fly a kite

or waiting around for Friday night
or waiting, perhaps, for their Uncle Jake

or a pot to boil, or a

Better Break

or a string of pearls, or a pair of pants
or a wig with curls, or

Another Chance

I would talk about the things I'm going to do, I spent a lot of time talking. I always talked about going back to school, and oddly no one handed me any type of degree for all my talk and my good intentions... Bastards! Can't they see how smart I am???

So, I stopped talking. And now I'm doing. I have a laundry list of things to do, but I don't overwhelm myself or I wouldn't do it. When I joined a gym, the trainer said to me, "What you want to get out of this won't happen overnight. The question is, What are you doing today that you didn't do yesterday?"

I took myself out of The Waiting Place, quit drinking and got my old, sorry (and yet still cute) ass into school. And eventually, as our beloved Dr. Seuss pointed out...

Somehow you'll escape all that waiting and staying.

You'll find the bright places

where Boom Bands are playing.

Well, I have not found my Boom Bands ... yet. I can hear them in the distance, though. A little Louis Armstrong, some Etta James, and on the mellow days there's some Stan Getz...

Oh, and today I have 666 days. That's gotta mean something... bad? Maybe I'll just go back to bed.

Santa, Politics and Screw Winter

2009-12-28T19:52:00.000-08:00

This is my first break from school since June and I have no idea what to do with myself. The classes I take are accelerated so I have to read anywhere between 5 and 8 chapters per week, write 2 posts about 4 paragraphs each, respond to at least 4 posts about the same length, take a test, and write a 2-3 page paper (until the last week, at which point I have to write a 10 page paper). Just getting my chores done is hard. Now, I have all this free time, but I still have that "rushed" feeling after work until I remember that nothing is due today...

So I'm actually kind of... bored. Seriously. I have no idea what to do.

So, I blog. This is what's happened since I last blogged... well not this last time, but over the past few months...

1. RW and I broke up awhile ago. Again. But we are both ok with it. I guess its possible to love someone who is totally wrong for you and makes you miserable when you're together.

2. We got a dog... his name is Samoa and he's a lab. We got him from the animal shelter and he came all trained and all tricked out. And he loves my DQ.

3. I "met" a new boy. Well, actually, I ran into him after 25 years on Facebook (I think that's a dating site in disguise). He used to sit behind me in Brother Tom's biology class... So far so good, taking it reeeeally slow. He treats me like a princess and I'm not used to that so I decided to dump him. HA! Just kidding, I decided to get used to it.

4. Santa brought DQ a Wii with Guitar Hero, which she Absolutely Had to Have or Else She Would Die! And since I did not want my daughter to Die, I got it for her. And she has played with it at least 2 times since then. Twice. So what does she play with, you might wonder... Well, I'll tell you what! Paper. I got her an origami instruction book and paper and she has spent hours upon hours making... origami stuff. And she's getting really good at it.

5. I'm putting together a website on the Federal Reserve, gathering information. It pissed me off when Rep. Grayson asked the Fed in hearings where almost Three Trillion Dollars of the Stimulus money went and they said they did not know. And the bottom line is, they don't care, they answer to no branch of the government. I'm thinking about applying for a job there. I mean if they can lose almost Three Trillion Dollars and no one cares, what's a couple hundred thousand here and there, right?

6. I'm thinking about moving to Florida. I hate winter. Its just too damn cold here.

7. My son is in Afghanistan. His name is Joe. Please pray for him.

Welcome to Hell... Or Adolescence

2009-12-20T19:17:00.000-08:00

I have officially crossed into obsolescence as a parent...

What I think or know or like or wear have moved from 'old fashioned' into the realm of so hideous it is to be avoided at all cost...

I've become 'embarassing', I feel like Rain Man...

That's right, my bloggity peeps, my DQ turned 12 last month and, Thank God, she knows everything. And, as it turns out, I could not know less about everything there is to know. Gray matter seeps from my ears with every passing moment.

And even though this is my third foray into adolescent rearing, it still surprised me how suddenly I became stooopid. How quickly my home has become hostile territory. What is different is that as I've gotten older I just don't want to argue anymore, I'm not up for the fight.

Sooo....

Friday night she spent at my mom's so I could shop for her Christmas gifts, and I told her that her friend could spend the night on Saturday night. But Friday, I got a progress report at school saying that she did not turn in 2 assignments that she told me she turned in. Do I still let her friend spend the night? If I say no, I incur her 12 year old wrath. If I say yes, I'm basically giving up.

So this is what I did (and this is true). I sneakily (that's right by the 3rd child, moms are sneaky!) waited until Saturday afternoon, a good 3 hours before I was picking her up and called her at my mom's and said, "Well, because you didn't turn in the assignments your friend isn't spending the night tonight." So she started to argue, and I just said, "I Said No." Very Authoritatively. And hung up the phone.

And I smiled the smile of the Zen Master, content and peaceful. And the silence in my home was the music of the angels strumming their harps around my head and a thousand fairies showered me with pixie dust.... so happy was I.

And I get a text message, Ding. Its from my big girl, Flower Child, and it goes a little something like this: "She's going completely psycho."

Ok, so I usually don't put the child's wrath on someone else, but I gotta tell you, it was awesome to not have to deal with that, just this one time...

I sent a text back saying, "Just remind her that Santa Claus still has the receipts for everything he bought, and a full tank of gas. Not a good idea to piss him off right now." Apparently that worked. I know that the Christmas gravy train is about to run dry, but for now... sweet victory...

And to think, only 6 more years of this...

Another Major Award

2009-11-27T10:17:00.000-08:00

I have no idea why Queeneenee gave me this award, it has been so long since I've blogged. (I started this in November, and just finished today!) But I am grateful. I've finished 5 classes, they are only 5 weeks long and they are intense. I've had to read on average 5 chapters per week and write 2-3 page papers per week with a 10 page term paper at the end of each class. I've had time to FaceBook, so if you see me, add me! I think most of the people who read have added me already though...

Anyways, my post is due later this week AND I have some time off for Thanksgiving, so I gratefully accept this award and will follow the rules:

DA RULES:

Answer the survey below…you can only use one word answers!
Pass this along to 6 of your favorite bloggers!
Alert them that you have given them this award!
Have Fun!
_______________________________________________________
Where is your cell phone?- onmybed
Your hair? onmyhead
Your mother? aredhead
Your father? retired
Your favorite food? lasagne
Your dream last night? blastfromthepast
Your favorite drink? coffee
Your dream/goal? traveleverywhere
What room are you in? bedroom
Your hobby? don'tgotnonei'minschool
Your Fear? losingmysoniAfghanistan
Where do you want to be in 6 years? noidea
Where were you last night? – Home
Something that you aren’t? drunk
Muffins? lemonpoppyseed
Wish list item? minicooper
Where did you grow up? Michigan
Last thing you did? homework
What are you wearing? what?
Your TV? works
Your pets? outside
Friends? apparentlymadatme
Your life? happy
Your mood? good
Missing someone? nope
Vehicle? hasheatedseats
Something you’re not wearing? socks
Your favorite store? VSPink
Your favorite color? yellow
When was the last time you laughed? today
Last time you cried? whenmysonleftforAfghanistanandidn'tsaygoodbye
One place that I go to over and over? work
One person who emails me regularly? justine
Favorite place to eat? luciano's

Ok, NOW I get to choose my 6 blogs (these are not all recovery blogs, just people I love to read):

Jess The Mistress of Mischief who always sends me inspiring little things when I need them most!

Diane at Cooking Blind, who I think has more faith in me than me (but I'm getting there).

Nancy at Off the Soapbox, who is just my Nancy and I love her!

Lou at Subdural Flow who just tells it like it is...

Mary at Letting Go, for her beautiful imagery and use of the language... like reading poetry.

And last, but definitely not least....

The one and only very awesome Steveroni. at Another Sober Alcoholic, Come On Down!

And that's all I have to say about that.

I will write more soon.

(I have the next 2 weeks off school and no idea what to do with it...)

Done!

2009-09-08T13:10:00.000-07:00

With my class, just started my next one. School is really time consuming.

Check out this blog: www.gnarlygeezers.com!

You've Created a Monster!

2009-08-27T17:57:00.000-07:00

You all told me that it was ok to buy myself flowers...

(ok, maybe not all, but I specifically remember JilliJava, Prayer Girl and diane saying it might be ok sometimes....)

So I came into some extra money this week and....

Yellow Garden Roses. Aren't they pretty?

And yes. They do make me feel better.

By the way, I'm on Lesson 13 on my Spanish CDs.

I am proud to say that I can speak enough Spanish to sound only moderately retarded to my Latino brethren.

¿entiendes?

New Nail Polish

2009-08-25T08:32:00.000-07:00

Pointy blog:

Migraine medicine is no longer working well. I have to take 2 instead of one and it keeps coming back. Back to the doctor. Ugh.
I think it might have to do with stress.
What is it about my daughter having a broken heart that breaks mine so completely?
I long for the days when a eskimo-butterfly-spervit kiss-combo before bed took all the little pains away.
For both of us.
So I bought new nail polish... we each chose a color.
New nail polish always helps a little...